Have you ever written something where you actually took longer to get yourself ready writing than the actual writing itself? You twirl your pen, webcrastinate, get more coffee, or just stare blankly at the screen. But the words don’t flow.
This is one of those instances.
Last May, I wrote about Rodney and Sarah’s wedding in San Antonio. I was re-reading it recently and realised how I failed to give proper context in words to the events surrounding the wedding. Maybe it was a conscious desire to remain ambiguous.
This time around, I cleared it with Sarah and asked if I could tell all. She said yes.
Sarah was in remission during her wedding. It was a great and hopeful time for all. The wedding was beautiful and things were looking up.
I follow them closely on social media and liked their pictures no end while on holiday in the United Kingdom.
This is the part where Hollywood movies end. The guy and girl get together and get married. They live a beautiful life. The credits roll, then the music plays and they live happily ever after. But this isn’t Hollywood. This isn’t even just a stupid wedding video where the petals flutter ever so slowly at the last shot. All warm, fuzzy and happy. It isn’t. It’s real life.
A month ago I received an sms from Sarah asking me nicely if I could edit their final video “na masaya”. Too many tears were shed in the wedding so she wanted to recall the event in a much lighter, happier tone.
She also wished she’d still be around to watch it. She was sick again and unsure if she’s be able to finish the treatments.
When you get messages like those. Everything stops.
She could have asked Rodney. Or a friend, or her parents. But instead she told me herself. That’s something to me.
We expedited the editing and delivered the videos in time. But it’s really not the videos I want to go into, it was the conversations we had throughout the entire process.
First of all, if you have a friend who has a life threatening illness and you don’t. You just don’t know what to say. I feel stupid sometimes and awkward most of the time.
Words are sometimes empty. I told her that it’s alright and no matter how brief our time here in this world, what’s important is that she’s touched so many people’s lives.
She counters – “I don’t want to touch people’s lives, I just want to normal and healthy.”
And I am endeared to her even more with her spunk and fight.
I remain quiet for a minute in the convo. And become honest in the exchange. No sugar coating for the first time.
“Well, andyan na yan, ano pa magagawa natin? Make the most out of it na lang.”
To which we agree on the quote – “We cannot change the cards we are dealt. Just how we play the hand.”